Happy Monday to you!
It is a gorgeous fall afternoon here on the east coast. I am enjoying the clear, sunny skies. How are you today? Remember, to leave a comment before you exit! I always look forward to reading each response. Also, be sure to check out yesterday’s post for some great tips on how to increase goodwill and holiday cheer during Thanksgiving 2014. With that said, it is time for some more daily inspiration!
Today’s post is all about verbal communication.
We have to remain cognizant of what we think and the resulting speech that comes out of our mouths. Unfortunately, it is very easy to fall into a pattern of negative thinking and speaking. Sometimes, we direct our negativity toward others. Many times, our negativity is in reference to ourselves. When you are experiencing difficulties, it is useless to speak disparagingly about yourself, the circumstance, or others. The end result of hate speech is more problems (e.g. increased stress, poor health, tension, etc).
Often, negative speech is a projection of a lie. You say, “I won't waste time enrolling in college because I'll never graduate”. You say, “I won't post that outfit onto my blog because no one will like it”. You say, “It's no use applying for that position because I am under qualified”. You say, “My family doesn’t appreciate me”. You say, “She will never date someone like me”. You say, “I'll never become a homeowner”. You say, “I am not enough”. In most cases, these statements are lies spoken from a place of fear.
The origins of negative thoughts and hate speech are multitudinous (e.g. learned behavior, low self-esteem, mental illness, tragic occurrences, etc). This post is not meant to undermine the source of anyone’s hurt. However, the intent of this post is to break the cycle of hate speech through confrontation.
At any stage of life, it is possible to become overly critical of one’s self. Life is full of hardships. Nevertheless, we have to learn to confront negativity as soon as it arises. If you apply for a job and do not get the position, be careful not to list reasons why you’re unworthy. Simply, continue to work diligently toward your career goals. If you go through a breakup, be mindful not to attack your personal attributes. Focus on living your best life. Be open to the certainty of a better relationship. If you are in a disagreement with a loved one, do not be quick to assassinate his or her character through your words. Find the root of the issue and tackle the problem, not your loved one.
Hate speech, self blame, disparaging remarks are unhealthy. There is a definite difference between being critical and being negative. Learn the difference and you will (undoubtedly) experience an increase in wellness.